Mainstays & Go-To's
and some exciting natural occurrences
Hi there,
New York City had an exciting span of a few days recently, featuring two natural occurrences: one completely unexpected, the second highly anticipated. The first, a magnitude-4.8 earthquake, had most New Yorkers blaming construction or a speeding subway train for the rumbling they were experiencing. As for the latter event, the almost-total solar eclipse, there was no surprise there. Public libraries were handing out eclipse glasses weeks in advance—running out of stock relatively early in the game—while pharmacies and toy stores kept selling out. Desperate people posted on Facebook, attempting to arrange pickups from families with a surplus of these most coveted of (disposable) shades. Belatedly, a few hours before the eclipse was set to begin, I too hit the stores that were supposedly carrying a stock of eclipse glasses. I was, however, without luck until I finally got onto the text-notification list of a 99-cent store, announcing a glasses delivery that was to arrive within the half hour: just in the nick of time.
"Sunnies" successfully in hand, we made our way to Prospect Park to experience the eclipse with hundreds of others, first stopping at every street intersection along the way to gauge the progress of the moon's impressive mission to darken the sun. You would think the universe timed this cosmic event perfectly with school letting out, hordes of kids with backpacks streaming down hills from every strategic angle, screaming with excitement as they filled the park's meadow.
A group of women sitting near us on the grass simply could not get over how reminiscent their gathering was to New Year's Eve, with everyone in sight donning cheap paper or plastic glasses. "Happy New Year!" one of them would unironically exclaim every few minutes.
While we were not in the "path of totality," our 90% eclipse was still pretty spectacular. The whole park broke into applause as we, collectively, reached our maximum totality at 3:25pm. I have now joined the ranks of millions who, despite wearing the special specs, are paranoid we've forever burned our retinas.
In between these two humbling events, I met a couple of old friends for dinner at a place we've deemed our go-to spot in recent years. Renata and I discovered Ammazzacaffè some years back, but it has now become the place where she, Meggie, and I convene for a ladies' reunion. However, there is the occasional addition, as it happened this time around, of a visiting brother of a boyfriend….who graciously accepted his fate of being fully exposed to the most intimate of conversations. This Williamsburg locale always has a great vibe and staff, perfect apps, some of the best fresh pasta in town, and on Sundays, an ultimate special called the Chicken Parm-ageddon: chicken parm on tagliatelle pasta with vodka sauce. (It's also the most obvious order for a weekend falling between an earthquake and a solar eclipse.)
There's something so comforting about a mainstay joint meant for repeat visits: it is forever associated with the people we’re privileged to see again and again, those who share the consideration of that place as a gold standard. For many years, the informal Italian restaurant Tre Giovani was such a bedrock of my friendship with Mark and Warren that once when we arrived at its shuttered windows and saw that it was closed indefinitely for renovations, we joked that this was officially the end of our friendship: it was nice knowing you, have a great life. Discovering it while I was still in high school, Tre Giovani was also a place I'd take everyone I knew—in fact, Diana and I called it "our place" too. (Their menu's changed drastically and become astronomically more expensive, but they still have everyone's favorite and unique "ravioli al funghetto" in a blended mushroom cream sauce.) There have been many go-to's over the years: Bijan's with Marandi and Shelley, Yum Yum Too when Hell's Kitchen was Marina's neighborhood. Incidentally, Yum Yum Too was long adjacent to Yum Yum "one" (and, if I'm remembering correctly, a Yum Yum Three at one point?!) which no longer exists.….goes to show that sometimes the sequel is indeed superior.
It didn't quite matter where, but a gelato with Allison—or even plain old ice cream at Ben & Jerry's scoop shops, when they used to be more ubiquitous—was always in order to celebrate the small victories of simply being in our early twenties. For an occasional elevated celebration, though, we'd opt for Japanese tea and dessert at Cha-an. Think Coffee on Mercer St. and the homey Maman in TriBeCa were guaranteed repeat coffee meeting grounds, while the erstwhile Asian-fusion Cafetasia, with its chicken basil udon, was another college-era hotspot.
Friday night dinners with my parents (and any visiting family guests) has more often than not been Sichuan Chinese: our most recent cornerstone is Land of Plenty. But for a more relaxed experience, it's Shanghai for us, a no-frills spot run by two sweet brothers in Fort Lee, NJ. Bar Toto, once merely a fun haunt by the ultimate music venue Barbès, is now the go-to date-night place for my husband Gabe and me, Valentine's Day or not. Being in London for either my birthday or Sairah's always means rounds of pasta at Padella. And finally, Ariana Afghan Kebab, where I've been going since I was in a stroller, is my evergreen go-to restaurant recommendation to anyone asking (or not asking).
During this post-grad school, post-pandemic, and post-wedding (i.e. married life) stage where my social life feels more fragmented, the joy of claiming a go-to spot with busy people who make the time is not one I take for granted. Such is the pleasure of an evening spent catching up with two women with whom I grew up at music schools and summer music festivals: playing violin recitals as 7-17 year olds—sometimes successfully performing the memorized music, other times blanking on stage completely—singing Les Miz songs from the back of the bus on the way to a concert at Tanglewood, and crying as emotional teenagers while listening to the Gladiator soundtrack.
With an ever-rotating set of priorities plus changing cities of residence in our versatile adult lives, our path from that childhood friendship to today's intimacy hasn't been a straight line. But this new period of us finding a "go-to" has come now at a stage where we are honoring that sisterhood of a past time in a new light—and in so doing, allowing this friendship to itself remain a mainstay.
What are your go-to’s? I love hearing about how restaurants, cafes, or other joints became associated with certain gatherings, relationships, people, eras, and mindsets for different folks. Drop me a message directly, or comment right on the post if you'd like to share!
Have a wonderful week, and until soon,
Insia
Beautiful! Long live the sisterhood❤️
Such a beautiful post Insia! Gorgeous writing. I especially liked your retelling about Brooklyn's response to the eclipse....the bit about the women yelling out 'Happy New Year!' spontaneously...how fun. So fun riding along and being an observer (as well as part-subject here!) to your POV.